Why won’t my baby stop crying?
It’s the Holy Grail of mama questions: Why won’t my baby stop crying?!
If we were given the option between having free Starbucks for life or having our baby go down without any fussing … it would be a tough choice. Because do those tears ever tug at our heart strings and leave us in a perpetual state of exhaustion, weariness, and defeat.
Well, I don’t have the means to offer you free Starbucks for life, but I can get you on that journey to help baby stop crying. I’m not even kidding. Let’s talk tears.
Tears are tough. As mamas, we have a physiological response in our bodies when our little one starts to cry. It’s a good thing. It is a response that keeps our littles safe, protected and cared for. I actually used to dislike that response. My baby’s crying brought on feelings of stress and dread … and while I desired to love and provide for her, I also felt like a failure because I didn’t know how to stop her from crying.
Here’s the fact that changed my perception of crying and my physiological experience when it came to tears: Babies are not born with the ability to speak a recognized language. Their only way to communicate is through crying. Therefore, any need, whether it be the need for physical connection or an expression of discomfort, fear, hunger, etc. … that need is communicated through crying.
Okay, so now we understand that crying is normal. Whew.
Here’s a follow up to that, though: Is it necessary? Many of you are reading this and thinking, “Okay, I get the need for newborns to cry, but my little one is 16 months old and still crying all the time. It’s like they hate sleep or can’t live without me.”
Fair point.
Crying is normal, but it is not always necessary.
When it comes to sleep, crying is typically a sign of confusion.
When I had my first, I tried everything to get her to go to sleep: walking and bouncing her around the kitchen island, offering a paci, feeding her to sleep, rocking her to sleep, gently moving the mattress back and forth … you name it; I did it.
This actually seemed to work around the 3 month mark, and I felt victorious! But then she turned 4 months old, and it was like someone pressed the “restart” button on me and didn’t have the decency to tell me they did it.
What actually was happening was that her journey to sleep was related to something she wasn’t able to control (i.e. my breastmilk, rocking, singing, etc.). Then, at the next night waking, she needed my help to get back to sleep again. She had learned how to fall asleep by depending on me. Her journey to sleep was not clear and definitely was not guided by her own skills.
So mama, let’s help cap the crying that has become a daily soundtrack in your home, and replace it with the soundtrack that makes your heart sing: like baby giggles or the sound of sweet silence … because baby just went to sleep without a fuss 🙌 🙌 🙌 🙌
If you are unsure of how to begin teaching baby to sleep using independent sleep skills, this is what we specialize in and why we have chosen to do what we do.
We teach a parent-present, gentle approach to sleep that fosters healthy attachment AND gets your baby sleeping soundly 🙌 🙌 🙌
Our sleep coaches account for your family values and take your child’s unique personality and needs into account when writing a sleep plan that is right for you. This includes questionnaires, multiple consults, the opportunity to talk every day with your sleep coach, and help with troubleshooting things that come up along the way. This isn’t a cookie cutter process.
We don’t believe in the Cry It Out method. No thanks.
If you are interested in connecting with a sleep coach to learn more about how we can support you, click this LINK to schedule a free 15 minute consultation. Or, If you’re more a DIY kinda person, Sleep Sleep Baby may be for you! Let’s make sleep accessible to you NOW and get your little one sleeping soundly again.
Sleep Sweetly,